Get Out Of That Vicious Circle

Following yesterday’s cabinet reshuffle in the Manmohan Singh-led UPA government, Twitter and other social networks witnessed one more of those innumerable jokesplosions. The stand out attempt at humor seemed to be ‘Why a reshuffle? They are all jokers in the pack, anyway’. Hmmm. Funny. So what’s wrong?

There’s an extremely serious underlying matter that goes unnoticed.

Freedom of speech and fun not withstanding, the spectre of political apathy runs deep in Indian civil society. Following any important/unimportant political event, it jumps out and makes it’s presence felt. This is not a defence of our politicians, who have much to do and make up for. But right there, it’s worth understanding that it’s the politicians, and nobody else, who have much to do. Hence, stemming political apathy and awakening political interest is necessary. Because politics matters. Dirty, ugly, whatever. It matters.

People, in a democracy, elect their representatives who must serve them. It doesn’t matter what you personally perceive of the person in power, but he/she holds a position that is of consequence to you. Mind you, political apathy could actually be one of the root causes behind terrorism or unemployment. Or any other malaise affecting Indian society. These very people elected to the top are meant to serve a purpose. And if the people in the republic sit back and never empathize, it offers no incentives whatsoever to the duty-bound. Not that it depends on incentives. But, still. So do that. Demand service and development in return for electing them to where they are.

Or else, we are all jokers in the pack anyway.

Losing The Plot

You thought it was a Baba Ramdev special. But err, no.

Union Health Minister Ghulam Nabi Azad, who once famously suggested we Indians watch TV instead of having sex at night in our innovative one-of-its-kind solution to our population ‘problem’, has said that homosexuality is a ‘Western disease’ and needs to be ‘cured’. Apparently, it’s not Indian. It’s also unnatural. The difference between Azad and Ramdev is that Azad is a direct representative of the Indian people and his views do a lot more damage than Arrow Baba incessantly repeating his medico-spiritual blah-blah on what homosexuality is or isn’t.

The statements have, as expected, received coverage in the foreign press. This does us no good and re-inforces India’s binding with archaic and uber-conservative medieval-era beliefs. The Health Minister seems bereft of rational advice and random sprouting of such public statements is what has actually helped create the Congress of today. This cannot be expected of a leader of a ministry so critical to the widespread acceptance of homosexuality in India.

Sadly, public statements in India are hardly ever well-thought out or researched. The power levied on to a person tends to create a misunderstanding in the mind that thinking can end, simply because the authority is that person himself. If such ignorance becomes commonplace, then India’s leaders are likely to match the views of non-thinking commoners or even groups that drive any agenda. Especially, the anti-gay ones. What one needs at this point in time is caution.

And add tolerance and acceptance of homosexuality to the mix, too.

What Happens When The National Advisory Council Meets!

Sonia Gandhi: Hello folks. Welcome to the NAC meeting.

Manmohan Singh: Hello, madam.

SG: STFU, dude. [MS goes quiet. Absolute silence in the room] By the way, why are you sitting on that side chair? There’s a special chair for the Prime Minister at all NAC meets.

MMS: Oh, oops. Almost forgot. Heehee.

[At that opportune moment, Rahul Gandhi enters...]

Rahul Gandhi: Paaji, that chair is going to be mine soon.

Ahmed Patel: Sure, you guys can play musical chairs and decide actually.

SG: HAHA Ahmedji. Don’t reveal the secrets behind how Prime Ministers are appointed in this country. Okay Rahul, what have you brought to the table?

RG: Mayawatiji. *chuckles* Okay seriously, not much. This Policy Of Maintaining Silence On All Issues In The Congress Party (POMSOAIITCP – longest policy name ever and so good that it has IIT in it) has paid a lot of dividends to my reputation and I intend to maintain it.

*silence*

SG: Hmmm. Listen carefully Junior – We must get you arrested one more time in UP, the card we played last time did create some hype for the Congress but didn’t work out as well as I wanted.

MMS: Madam, can I say something here?

SG: NO.

AP: ROFLOL. :D

MS: But Madam….

SG: Shushhh!

Digvijay Singh turns up.

Digvijay Singh: Hello fellow Congresspeople, how goes? I was on the phone with the LulzSec guys.

SG: This LulzSec thingy, do you think they are good enough to hack the NAC website?

DS: Maybe, I’m sure they’ll call me before they do anything. Like everybody else does. Oh wait, phone call from Amar Singh…

*Diggy heads to talk on the phone, and returns in a bit*

DS: Amar Singh called me to tell that he will be calling Bipasha Basu soon…

Oh wait, call from Bipasha…

*Again, Diggy heads out and returns*

DS: Bipasha told me she’s expecting a call from Amar Singh anytime soon. I think something is going on between the two and I suggest we issue statement claiming that RSS might be responsible.

SG: Oh God, shut up. Can we focus on the real issues – how much taxpayer money is required for the next NAC meet?

AP: Quite a bit. Don’t worry, the exchequer will sanction it. We are in complete control.

SG: Great, then. What’s next, btw?

MMS: A personal advisory council for me, please! :D

SG: SHUTTTT UPPPPPPP!!!!

[PS: Not sure if these are the people who turn up at NAC meets. Bah, who cares! Follow me on Twitter?]

What ACTUALLY Happens At Indo-Pak Talks

Ever wondered what happens when India and Pakistan meet in foreign secretary-level talks? Here goes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SALMAN BASHIR: Yo India! How’s it hanging? Err. What’s up?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NIRUPAMA RAO: All good, dude. Apart from a few scams here and there and Karunanidhi’s constant whining over Kanimozhi.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

M KARUNANIDHI: SAVE KANIMOZHI. :-|

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOL! :D Anyway, getting back to business. So what are India’s claims this time?

Oh, as if our previous demands have been met? What about bringing the perpetrators of Mumbai to justice? That dude Hafiz Saeed gives speeches as if Pakistan is his father-in-law’s country…! Is it his father-in-law’s country, by the way?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

M KARUNANIDHI: SAVE KANIMOZHI. :-|

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RAVI SHASTRI: In the end, cricket is the winner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hehe, that’s what you think! In the end, ISI is the winner. ;-)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

M KARUNANIDHI: SAVE KANIMOZHI. :-|

 

DUDE, KALAIGNAR. WTF! Hold on Bashir, you ain’t going anywhere. I’ve got this under control. Chill.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHAH RUKH KHAN: Arey, wah! This kind of nonsense goes on at Indo-Pak talks?! Damn. Anyway, I AM THE NUMBER ONE ‘NUMBER ONE CROWN SEEKING’ GUY, at least. Hee hee. Die Aamir.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WELCOME TO IPL 5!! *fireworks*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BABA RAMDEV: The best way to solve our problems is Fast Unto Death. Also the only way to cure homosexuality is through breathing, which actually means breathing air from one guy to another. Or smooching…..Also…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s raced away to the boundary like a tracer bullet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is going on?! Somebody get me outta here…! OSAMAAA, where art thou?