FirstPost is that thing that comes in between TV/newspapers and news websites like Times Of India or The Hindu or one of them (if the other brings it down through a series of advertisements). It’s like a third category, like how Apple created a third category when bringing in the iPad as an in-between to the iPhone and the Macbooks. Also like how my Mom created a third category called STUDY between SLEEP and FOOTBALL when I was growing up. Okay, probably not that. It’s not this or that, but it’s got a little bit of both this and that. The thing about FirstPost is that it is not a regular, unbiased news portal because of the way you would read what they tweet.

Lately, FirstPost and ESPN Cricinfo have begun to offer opinion or satirize writing when it comes to tweeting. You’d think they are a ‘neutral’ medium, but they aren’t. FirstPost is irritatingly in-your-face with hashtags. It’s so extreme with hashtags diarrhoea that you’d imagine emails between FirstPost staff to go something like this:

Dear XYZ, send me a copy of your draft for the post on Mayawati. #SENDNOW #DONTFORGET #BOSSWILLCUTYOURBALLSOFF #ELEPHANTS

Hey ABC, do you want to go on a date with me on Valentine’s? #VALENTINESDAY #PRAMODMUTHALIK #VIAGRASTILLWORKS

Apparently, FirstPost recently tweeted “#Finally, there’s news on a news-dry day” in the wake of the attack on the Israeli diplomat in Delhi. I wonder if too much opinionizing leaves any space for even basic sense, forget sensitivity. They did move to apologize in a while, but by then that tweet had been retweeted way too many times, good enough for even Shahid Kapoor to learn the spelling of ‘news-dry’ from the tweet. Just so that he won’t go out and spell it as juice-fry.

Of course, if a website can get CNN-IBN journalist, political liberal democrat, author Gin Drinkers and Blind Faith, mother of two teenagers and HT columnist Sagarika Ghose to do an incisive analysis on how clothes matter in politics (Who knew! Oh wait, Shivraj Patil did.), then it can certainly tweet scatterbrained bullshit straight out of a Dummys Guide To Being Dumb.

Fantastic journalism. FirstPostic journalism. #WELLDONE. #KEEPITUP. #BUTBESENSIBLE.

<On Twitter>

–Uncalled-for-Drama Warning–

I got married. Yeah, I did.

Thankfully, it was only a dream nightmare. But never before have I spring-jumped from my bed like a jack-out-of-the-box and scurried across the confines of my little apartment in the hope that I don’t stumble into that deadly creature popularly known as THE WIFE.

As it so happens, it turned out to be an arranged marriage. The wife-to-be’s deranged relatives kept pouring in to my home in an area mildly similar to Antarctican extremes. They ripped off my tee-shirt and started applying some sort of powder on my body that resembled very closely in color to liquid excreta entering a Level II Treatment Section in a remote sanitation facility. Very soon, the sound of music took up the air. And by ‘sound of music’, I meant aunty cheerleaders (without the cheerleader outfits, of course) screaming their lungs out at the prospect of seeing me go under the knife.

Despite all the chaos, I attempted to take aside of a few of my I-think-they’re-sane-enough family members and desperately tried to convince them that I do NOT want to marry. This girl. Any girl. Don’t. Want. To. Marry. I attempted to fake-puke my way out of the marriage, but to nothing. Relatives kept pouring in, however. Apart from the free food, I failed to understand what motivated them so strongly. Oh wait, my death.

Saner are those people who live unmarried lives, even if they’re usually demented and search for stuff like ‘mangal pandey sex’ or ‘dog toilets’ on this blog. Less paranoid are those people who shun marriage but are crazy enough to take kids to a room and offer them a ‘lollypop’. Marriage is, by heaps and bounds and miles and kilometers and Chetan Bhagat book pages, the scariest invention ever.

Scariest. Ever.

All it took was a dream nightmare for me to realize that.

This is the first such post on this blog, that I’m doing, in the 4 years that this blog has been on the web. First, let me set the premise.

Sneha Sadan is a boys orphanage in the city of Bangalore, India that houses over 30 school-going children, who are either orphaned or abandoned by their parents. The orphanage, from a visit I was fortunate to be a part of, seems to be a rather healthy place with enough emotional and material strength in it to ensure a proper upbringing for these kids. However, there is a lack of certain amenities the orphanage could do with. Among these are very basic things like first aid kits, mattresses and shoes/chappals for the children.

I’d like to make a very simple request here and invite donations to Sneha Sadan. If you can directly get in touch with them, the contact details are on the website. But if you would like to make a donation without doing that, I would encourage you to email me – jaymaniyar [at] gmail [dot] com. This way, I can personally discuss and share bank account numbers and other details. In case, you’d like me to contact you, please leave your email address in the comment below. A point of note here is that I invite donations starting from a minimum basic amount of Rs. 200. Of course, higher nominations would be more than welcome.

In general, any substantial donation or personal involvement in any form is invited. India is home to over 257 lakh orphaned children (Source: Wikipedia). It is, hence, worth imagining (and bewildering) just how many kids in this country go to sleep at night without that person(s) sitting by his/her bed with one hand caressing the little head or sing them a song like this one.

Thank you.

[Photo Credit: The PicSnapr]

1) An Indian reaction is overdue. It doesn’t matter if it has been 30 months or 10 years since we were struck by terror strikes. But it is high time India’s leaders understand that the buck really stops here. Two decades of suffering and loss of innocent lives cannot be put away under the carpet without a reaction that raises our dispirited levels, which are currently at an all-time low. The cycle of terror is currently unstoppable and we are all sitting ducks, waiting for that bomb to go off.

2) Yes, there has been improvement in India’s immediate reaction to attacks. The Home Minister was wise enough to not speculate which terrorist group was behind the blasts that killed 17 and injured over a hundred others. This helps avoid alerting the actual group that may be responsible for these vicious attacks. As of now, no group seems to have claimed responsibility and this blogger will also refrain from speculating who might be responsible.

3) News channels and newspapers have disappointed in their scramble for rating points, with gory images doing the rounds in both of these mediums. With the odd exception, most media sources crossed lines and it is unlikely they will ever learn when to respect the dead. Especially, given the way in which these lives have been lost.

4) While we await an official Indian reaction, it is distressing to note that the government admitted to having absolutely no intelligence prior to these attacks. One would expect that given the scale of the attacks in Mumbai less than three years back, India’s intelligence services would have learnt the lessons of failure and improved drastically. Instead, we were treated to question-mark faces. And these are the faces that are supposed to answer our questions in the first place.

5) Twitter, significantly more than Facebook or any other  form of social media, played a heart-warming role in circulating information, aiding the search for missing people and in general, spreading awareness. The idea of creating a spreadsheet listing down all the people capable of delivering help of several kinds stood out. Obviously, Twitter is incapable of helping actual on-ground operations, but it’s importance cannot be understated given how spreading information during a crisis is absolutely desirable. The occasional misleading/erroneous information aside, most of it is generally intended to be useful. I am not sure or qualified to comment if it helped emergency response systems on the ground, if there were any at all.

6) At this point, Congress President Sonia Gandhi and BJP leader Narendra Modi have stressed the importance of unity. In my opinion, this misleads us. People are not empowered to do much, apart from the usual outrage and creation/circulation of public opinion. It is the leaders at the top who are supposed to make critical decisions that is supposed to justify why they were elected to be there in the first place. A mere statement like “India will not tolerate this” never saved our souls. Meanwhile, Congress leader Rahul Gandhi has proved himself to be a top-notch humbug of a leader by claiming that the UPA has thwarted 99% of terror attacks, but 1% of attacks do get through. On what mathematical basis he has managed to come to this conclusion is sense-defying, and makes you want to pull your hair out. This is all the more worrying because this man is almost certain to take up India’s top job, come 2014.

In essence, it is disappointing, depressing and bewildering that yet another terror attack has managed to shackle up the Indian mainland and caused the loss of yet more innocent lives. It was supposed to be a perfectly normal day, with people going about their usual routines.

And suddenly, there came deafening sounds and blinding lights. And some blood.

There’s an extremely serious underlying matter that goes unnoticed.

Freedom of speech and fun not withstanding, the spectre of political apathy runs deep in Indian civil society. Following any important/unimportant political event, it jumps out and makes it’s presence felt. This is not a defence of our politicians, who have much to do and make up for. But right there, it’s worth understanding that it’s the politicians, and nobody else, who have much to do. Hence, stemming political apathy and awakening political interest is necessary. Because politics matters. Dirty, ugly, whatever. It matters.

People, in a democracy, elect their representatives who must serve them. It doesn’t matter what you personally perceive of the person in power, but he/she holds a position that is of consequence to you. Mind you, political apathy could actually be one of the root causes behind terrorism or unemployment. Or any other malaise affecting Indian society. These very people elected to the top are meant to serve a purpose. And if the people in the republic sit back and never empathize, it offers no incentives whatsoever to the duty-bound. Not that it depends on incentives. But, still. So do that. Demand service and development in return for electing them to where they are.

Or else, we are all jokers in the pack anyway.

Union Health Minister Ghulam Nabi Azad, who once famously suggested we Indians watch TV instead of having sex at night in our innovative one-of-its-kind solution to our population ‘problem’, has said that homosexuality is a ‘Western disease’ and needs to be ‘cured’. Apparently, it’s not Indian. It’s also unnatural. The difference between Azad and Ramdev is that Azad is a direct representative of the Indian people and his views do a lot more damage than Arrow Baba incessantly repeating his medico-spiritual blah-blah on what homosexuality is or isn’t.

The statements have, as expected, received coverage in the foreign press. This does us no good and re-inforces India’s binding with archaic and uber-conservative medieval-era beliefs. The Health Minister seems bereft of rational advice and random sprouting of such public statements is what has actually helped create the Congress of today. This cannot be expected of a leader of a ministry so critical to the widespread acceptance of homosexuality in India.

Sadly, public statements in India are hardly ever well-thought out or researched. The power levied on to a person tends to create a misunderstanding in the mind that thinking can end, simply because the authority is that person himself. If such ignorance becomes commonplace, then India’s leaders are likely to match the views of non-thinking commoners or even groups that drive any agenda. Especially, the anti-gay ones. What one needs at this point in time is caution.

And add tolerance and acceptance of homosexuality to the mix, too.

Sonia Gandhi: Hello folks. Welcome to the NAC meeting.

Manmohan Singh: Hello, madam.

SG: STFU, dude. [MS goes quiet. Absolute silence in the room] By the way, why are you sitting on that side chair? There’s a special chair for the Prime Minister at all NAC meets.

MMS: Oh, oops. Almost forgot. Heehee.

[At that opportune moment, Rahul Gandhi enters...]

Rahul Gandhi: Paaji, that chair is going to be mine soon.

Ahmed Patel: Sure, you guys can play musical chairs and decide actually.

SG: HAHA Ahmedji. Don’t reveal the secrets behind how Prime Ministers are appointed in this country. Okay Rahul, what have you brought to the table?

RG: Mayawatiji. *chuckles* Okay seriously, not much. This Policy Of Maintaining Silence On All Issues In The Congress Party (POMSOAIITCP – longest policy name ever and so good that it has IIT in it) has paid a lot of dividends to my reputation and I intend to maintain it.

*silence*

SG: Hmmm. Listen carefully Junior – We must get you arrested one more time in UP, the card we played last time did create some hype for the Congress but didn’t work out as well as I wanted.

MMS: Madam, can I say something here?

SG: NO.

AP: ROFLOL.

MS: But Madam….

SG: Shushhh!

Digvijay Singh turns up.

Digvijay Singh: Hello fellow Congresspeople, how goes? I was on the phone with the LulzSec guys.

SG: This LulzSec thingy, do you think they are good enough to hack the NAC website?

DS: Maybe, I’m sure they’ll call me before they do anything. Like everybody else does. Oh wait, phone call from Amar Singh…

*Diggy heads to talk on the phone, and returns in a bit*

DS: Amar Singh called me to tell that he will be calling Bipasha Basu soon…

Oh wait, call from Bipasha…

*Again, Diggy heads out and returns*

DS: Bipasha told me she’s expecting a call from Amar Singh anytime soon. I think something is going on between the two and I suggest we issue statement claiming that RSS might be responsible.

SG: Oh God, shut up. Can we focus on the real issues – how much taxpayer money is required for the next NAC meet?

AP: Quite a bit. Don’t worry, the exchequer will sanction it. We are in complete control.

SG: Great, then. What’s next, btw?

MMS: A personal advisory council for me, please!

SG: SHUTTTT UPPPPPPP!!!!

[PS: Not sure if these are the people who turn up at NAC meets. Bah, who cares! Follow me on Twitter?]

SALMAN BASHIR: Yo India! How’s it hanging? Err. What’s up?

NIRUPAMA RAO: All good, dude. Apart from a few scams here and there and Karunanidhi’s constant whining over Kanimozhi.

M KARUNANIDHI: SAVE KANIMOZHI.

LOL! Anyway, getting back to business. So what are India’s claims this time?

Oh, as if our previous demands have been met? What about bringing the perpetrators of Mumbai to justice? That dude Hafiz Saeed gives speeches as if Pakistan is his father-in-law’s country…! Is it his father-in-law’s country, by the way?

M KARUNANIDHI: SAVE KANIMOZHI.

RAVI SHASTRI: In the end, cricket is the winner.

Hehe, that’s what you think! In the end, ISI is the winner.

M KARUNANIDHI: SAVE KANIMOZHI.

DUDE, KALAIGNAR. WTF! Hold on Bashir, you ain’t going anywhere. I’ve got this under control. Chill.

SHAH RUKH KHAN: Arey, wah! This kind of nonsense goes on at Indo-Pak talks?! Damn. Anyway, I AM THE NUMBER ONE ‘NUMBER ONE CROWN SEEKING’ GUY, at least. Hee hee. Die Aamir.

WELCOME TO IPL 5!! *fireworks*

BABA RAMDEV: The best way to solve our problems is Fast Unto Death. Also the only way to cure homosexuality is through breathing, which actually means breathing air from one guy to another. Or smooching…..Also…

That’s raced away to the boundary like a tracer bullet.

What is going on?! Somebody get me outta here…! OSAMAAA, where art thou?

Rape is one of the world’s most despicable crimes. So unfortunate are man’s urges, that they stand to ruin (in many cases) the life of those women who subjected to rape. Societies, the world over, must focus on providing maximum assistance to women subjected to heinous crimes like rape or torture. Instead, we pull the same old rabbit out of our magic hat of potential solutions – symbolism. Again, I must make a point here that women have the right to wear what they want, and irrespective – nobody has a call there, as it borders on subjugation of individual freedom. Moreover, it goes with the thought stream that people don’t know what’s good for them.

So, evidently, liberation is a great thing. Standing up for liberal values in a democracy, equally important. However, the problem lies with symbolism. The phenomenon of symbolism makes news once in a while, largely tends to create a lot of inconsequential hype and mostly ends up in the graveyard of public memory. The usual routine is followed – Twitter activism and retweets, Facebook pages and the Like button, TV studio coverage that creates the typical feel-good surrounding such events and email forwards coming from all directions, asking people to come out, take a walk and ‘be heard’.

The problem is the lack of solutions that such events bring out. It is classic Indian symbolism, that is becoming all too typical now. We ‘feel’ we have done a lot, but in reality we haven’t done anything significant. Symbolism, as we have seen with the Pink Chaddi and Pink Condom campaigns in the past (remember them?), does not solve the problems surrounding the oppression of women, crimes like rape and murder (a crime which follows rape in so many occasions). The need for better policing, rejection of ‘ultras’ and action against those engaging in these crimes is the need of the hour. And SlutWalk cannot bring these to the table, can it?

There is a strong need for understanding liberalism at it’s core. Mere raising of sound levels and generation of massive hype across civil society creates one more event that comes along and will be forgotten. What about working at the ground level? Are we doing that? What is the point of distant symbolism that may bring a smile to the face of a woman who has been subjected to rape, but does not improve her condition in any way whatsoever? Let us ask ourselves. What is the point of our activism? The point is action, followed by results. And why are we engaging in such symbolism? Simply, because it’s easy. And it’s fun, too.

It is the ability to research and implement solutions, that is difficult. And precisely that, is what is the need of the hour.

There were women and children in the crowd that was attacked by the police at a peaceful protest by Baba Ramdev and his set of followers. And it was absolutely disgusting that the UPA ordered a crackdown on something that is a constitutional right of any Indian. What is surprising (or maybe, not) is how several UPA leaders have issued statements and remain completely unapologetic about the events of yesterday night. It is important for other influential national parties to react in strong opposition to the UPA’s actions. And that has at least happened.

While I primarily disagree with Baba Ramdev’s methods (why – read this earlier post), which I believe is nothing but another example of an unelected civil society member seeking power and influence that he does not have any democratic right to, it is deplorable that the UPA sanctioned the interruption of a protest purely based on it’s own deluded suspicions surrounding the influential sage. There is absolutely no call for any form of brutal suppression of freedom of speech (even up to the extent of it being against the Indian republic and it’s functioning), unless it directly harms the safety and security of the people.

Histrionics are a part of mainstream Indian life. Every other day, there emerges a new figure demanding change without understanding the core of how a democracy is supposed to function. Hence, we are left to endure unnecessary drama that isn’t even helping our cause as a country. First, it was Anna Hazare. He is an admirable public figure, but seems to miss the point. Now, it’s Ramdev and a repeat of ‘fast unto death’. And he has thousands of followers, mind you. Not only is there so much confusion, but there is likely to even be a delay in the actual cause that the anti-corruption brigade is pioneering! [Link]

The problem is clear. Current laws remain unimplemented. Reforms aren’t even talked about. Unelected and self-styled spokespersons of the ‘People Cause’ want more laws. More institutions. The result is likely to put more people in government, something that we could and should avoid. The situation ends up being a round-about, and people watch yet one more reality show unfold. It’s even unfortunate when peaceful protests are cracked down on, and innocent women and children are police targets.

Sad.