Category Archives: Weird

The 25 Things Tag

1) I have lived more than half of my life outside India.

2) Deciding to pursue engineering was not the wisest move in my life. I wish I had the conviction in me to pursue a career in sports, political science or even become a pet detective (Ace Ventura style).

3) I detest fame of all kinds, but secretly dream of hot women screaming my name.

4) My social skills are not terrible, just plainly weird. Sometimes, I dont know why I’ve behaved in a certain way, spoken certain things in public and made certain acquaintances.

5) I like football more than cricket. In fact, I am fanatical to the point that the craze has become an addiction. I cant live without football (playing, watching on TV, brainstorming, gossiping). Period.

6) By posting the same comment five consecutive times on one of my blog posts (an example here), I do not understand your point better than I did after reading it just the once.

7) I am a vegetarian. I have had my spell with smoking. I drink very, very rarely.

8) Sometimes, I like playing the uber-cool fool when I am surrounded by people(women) I wish to leave an impression upon. Sometimes.

9) I dont enjoy being in the company of cynics and sycophants. Other types will do, but these two categories of people make me feel like I need blood donors.

10) Thank God, I’ve reached Number 10 on this list.

11) I think Bollywood plays a hand in keeping India united. On a personal level, Bollywood is not for me (Reasons here). I am your occasionally-found-at-multiplexes kind of guy.

12) I was NOT a bully in school. I did NOT rag anyone in college. As far as I can remember.

13) I do not enjoy dancing, of the type in a discotheque with coloured lights and ‘rocking’ music. I enjoy Garbaa and Dandiya Raas, the folks dances of my home state.

14) During my school days, a history teacher who educated me on the Indian freedom struggle, the World Wars and Mahatma Gandhi was one of my role models. I scored 55 in Social Sciences in 10th. I dont know why (Dont smirk! One of the toppers in my school scored 49 in Social Sciences and 90s in all other subjects). I still believe this was a CBSE-sponsored conspiracy.

15) I hate obsessive love. Simple love is fine. But some lovey-doveys are overtly obsessed with their opposites. I feel life loses pragmatism with this kind of ‘love’.

16) The Fair-N-Handsome effect doesn’t fancy me one bit.

17) I think religion has been misunderstood by people to an extent I had never imagined. And it’s getting worse. And the only tonic is tolerance.

18) I think Priyanka Chopra is very beautiful. And hot. I think Mallika Sherawat is very hot. But not beautiful. In an ideal world, I’d want to marry Priyanka and have an extra-marital affair with Mallika. ;-)

19) When in my teens, MyHotBoard.com was one of my favourite internet haunts. It doesn’t take a genius to interpret what the site was about, from the name of the site.

20) Sourav Ganguly is my all-time favourite cricketer. During the NatWest final in England in 2002, at 146/5 (when Sachin Tendulkar got out), I made an instant bet with my uncle that India will chase down 326. And we did.

21) I try not to lie. But there are certain situations in life where you just cant seem to ‘go ahead’ if you choose to not lie. I also try not to lie in those situations. But what eventually makes me lie is that greatest fear of ‘being stuck’ in compromising situations.

22) Yes, I realize that I’ve wickedly used this tag to promote some of my previous blog posts.

23) I am usually very calm. MS Dhoni, for me, is a soothing brain that one should attempt to emulate.

24) Two things in the world elevate me to instant bliss – 1) making people laugh 2) scoring a goal in a football match.

25) Thank God, this tag is over. I usually dont enjoy tags. Anybody in the whole wide world can take up this tag from here. Dont pile the pressure on me by expecting me to come up with a list. :-)

Stay safe.

[Tag request: Indian Home Maker]

(I have a gut feeling that there may be others who would’ve requested this. If you(blogger/reader/Ram Sene hooligan/Congress stooge/BJP hardman/ISI agent) requested one before reading this post, kindly get in touch. A courtesy link is then a necessity.)

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What a MNS MMS can do

He’s back. No, not Sourav Ganguly.

Dear old Raj Thackeray.

CNN-IBN reports that MNS chief Raj Thackeray cut his birthday cake on June the 14th of this year with the word “Bhaiya” written on it. A MMS clip of the same has been leaked. One of their party functionaries moved to lessen the hype over the clip with this mind-boggling comment:-

“We have a lot of north Indian activists in the MNS and it must have been brought by one such activist, but we cannot recollect who,” Party Vice-President Vageesh Saraswat said.

Wow, I never knew there were north Indian “activists” in the MNS fighting against north Indians in the state and the country. And to think their activism and moral duty is to beat up other north Indians, indulge in violence and encourage regional separatism.

Ah! Public figures are responding.

Shatrughan Sinha – Why are the other celebrities keeping quiet? Why are they not speaking up against this atrocious act?

Lal Krishna Advani – If the BJP comes to power in Maharashtra, we will make sure that no birthday cakes are ever cut as they are symbolic of Western influence on young Indians. However, we will allow saffron-coloured and orange-flavoured cakes as we know how much young Indians love and cherish the BJP.

Lalu Prasad Yadav – Nitishji, Paswanji come up on the dias. Media waale, jaraa dur khade rahe pleej.

Nitish Kumar – Laluji, haath dijiye.

Ram Vilas Paswan – Wait CM sahab, main bhi aa raha hoon. Pehle paan to kha loon.

The Holy Trinity of Bihar – We condemn this act and urge the central government to take strict action against the birthday celebrations. An inquiry needs to be ordered into whether the spelling of “Bhaiya” was correct and along which angles he cut the cake. Of our earlier promise, we will try to ensure we resign from Parliament well before our term expires, but first we need a response from the government.

Abhishek Bachchan – Birthday cake? What birthday. Shut up and go watch Drona…err…Dostana.

Mayawati – If this is the kind of respect he is giving to my fellow compatriots, I order a judicial inquiry as to why he didn’t have another birthday cake with the words Behenji written on it. I’m sure he has done that too. I can’t wait to get my hands on him when I become the PM.

Mukesh Ambani – I’m the richest Indian in the world. Woohoo!

England cricket team – We don’t think we will be in any sort of condition to celebrate our birthdays like Raj Thackeray if India whips us 7-0.

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Typically political


Sushma Swaraj’s ridiculous suggestion that the blasts in Ahmedabad and Bangalore were meant to take focus of the to-hell-with-the-sanctity-of-Parliament CASH-FOR-VOTES scandal exposes the fickle-minded approach of today’s politicians. In a time when the country needs to stand united against back-to-back terror strikes, the BJP leader has falsified upon an absolute lack of basic sense, even in times of need.

Talking of terrorism, the setting up of a federal agency is almost a must now. Normal law-and-order services are clearly incapable and overburdened. Terrorism has become a very serious issue and we can no longer afford to be unaffected by it.

It’s not a war, so to say. But it’s nothing lesser too.

21-12-2012


Finally then. Thank you Aaj Tak, India TV, Live India and all of the other we-love-to-spread-fear mass media organizations for signaling the end of the world with your Colgate smiles and Himesh noises. Hats off to your incredible findings that will allow us to splash our cash, drink and drive, be merry and more importantly, be afraid.

If you take a moment to think about the kind of fear that thousands of people live with everyday and to add more nonsense to fragile and emotionally weak Indian minds, to play with the feelings of thousands of innocent human beings and to provoke utterly meaningless discussions over the so-called END OF THE WORLD theory, then you can only pity the kind of misery we have learnt to adjust with every hour of every day.

Men will eat men. Wars will burn this world and tear it apart. Food and fuel won’t exist. But let’s face it when it comes face-to-face. Sensationalism will kill us anyway. So pledge to stop tuning into the greatest entertainment channels of the country if the world does not end on 21st December, 2012.

And if this supremely ridiculous end-of-life theory works, then it’s all over anyway.