Sonia Gandhi: Hello folks. Welcome to the NAC meeting.
Manmohan Singh: Hello, madam.
SG: STFU, dude. [MS goes quiet. Absolute silence in the room] By the way, why are you sitting on that side chair? There’s a special chair for the Prime Minister at all NAC meets.
MMS: Oh, oops. Almost forgot. Heehee.
[At that opportune moment, Rahul Gandhi enters...]
Rahul Gandhi: Paaji, that chair is going to be mine soon.
Ahmed Patel: Sure, you guys can play musical chairs and decide actually.
SG: HAHA Ahmedji. Don’t reveal the secrets behind how Prime Ministers are appointed in this country. Okay Rahul, what have you brought to the table?
RG: Mayawatiji. *chuckles* Okay seriously, not much. This Policy Of Maintaining Silence On All Issues In The Congress Party (POMSOAIITCP – longest policy name ever and so good that it has IIT in it) has paid a lot of dividends to my reputation and I intend to maintain it.
SG: Hmmm. Listen carefully Junior – We must get you arrested one more time in UP, the card we played last time did create some hype for the Congress but didn’t work out as well as I wanted.
MMS: Madam, can I say something here?
MS: But Madam….
Digvijay Singh turns up.
Digvijay Singh: Hello fellow Congresspeople, how goes? I was on the phone with the LulzSec guys.
SG: This LulzSec thingy, do you think they are good enough to hack the NAC website?
DS: Maybe, I’m sure they’ll call me before they do anything. Like everybody else does. Oh wait, phone call from Amar Singh…
*Diggy heads to talk on the phone, and returns in a bit*
DS: Amar Singh called me to tell that he will be calling Bipasha Basu soon…
Oh wait, call from Bipasha…
*Again, Diggy heads out and returns*
DS: Bipasha told me she’s expecting a call from Amar Singh anytime soon. I think something is going on between the two and I suggest we issue statement claiming that RSS might be responsible.
SG: Oh God, shut up. Can we focus on the real issues – how much taxpayer money is required for the next NAC meet?
AP: Quite a bit. Don’t worry, the exchequer will sanction it. We are in complete control.
SG: Great, then. What’s next, btw?
MMS: A personal advisory council for me, please!
SG: SHUTTTT UPPPPPPP!!!!
[PS: Not sure if these are the people who turn up at NAC meets. Bah, who cares! Follow me on Twitter?]