When men were men

When observations take a toll on your mind, they make you frustrated and create an irresistible, inescapable urge to rant. Maybe this post is an example of the burden of silence. I call it the Fair-N-Handsome effect (no offense meant to the brand and the company). Let’s just say that the world has more women than men because there are a lot of men who are actually women, in disguise. These are some of the common symptoms of this infection that calls for immediate emasculation of such feminists:-

1. You’ll find them sticking in and around girls, looking to make an impression that would delight the girl and “make her day”.

2. “Guddi, tujhe kya chahiye? Pepsi. Abhi lekar aata hoon. Arey sun, tujhe My Can chahiye ya woh 500 ml ki bottle?”
Help yourself.

3. The guy will try to make inky-pinky pansy-wansy Barbie doll impressions, act intentionally foolish (Or maybe is naturally foolish. I am yet to figure the logic out here.) and at loss with his sense of humour.

4. The guy won’t be a sport lover. Generally. If he fancies David Beckham over Ronaldinho as to who is the better football player, then you can probably make the judgment that he is infected.

5. The guy will like the colour pink, try to be overtly metro sexual, go gaga over Shah Rukh Khan’s 6-pack abs and will have assumed that MTV Roadies is the revolution that is the saviour of the Indian youth, like HRD Minister Arjun Singh.

6. The guy will cherish his collection of fairness creams (purchased with an effort that could have been wasted in better things) and will live in the hope that one day the darkness of his skin will pave the way for bright lights that would make girls freak out at his sight. Yes, freak out in ecstasy.

The raw truth is that there should be some space in life to do what you have to do with women and all the associated madness. But at least it would be wise to not lose yourself in the process.

One more thing, if you have had a newborn baby recently, please throw it over your rooftop to be blessed by God.

Save yourself.

Do what I tell you

Return of the self-proclaimed king.

US State Department: “We would hope that the Indian government, or any government that was engaging with the Iranians, including with President Ahmadinejad, would call on him to meet the requirements that the Security Council and the international community has placed on him in terms of suspending their uranium enrichment activities and complying with other requirements regarding their nuclear programme”.
US would “encourage” India to ask Iran to end its “rather unhelpful activities with respect to Iraq, with respect to support for terrorism, including organisations like Hezbollah and Hamas, and to otherwise become a more responsible actor on the world stage”.

We all know how the US of A likes to interfere in the foreign policies of so many countries when it comes to preserving their own suspicions of other ones. And now they have once again tried to poke their noses into Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s upcoming visit to India. This is what the MEA replied:-

India and Iran are ancient civilisations whose relations span centuries. Both nations are perfectly capable of managing all aspects of their relationship. Neither country needs any guidance on the future conduct of bilateral relations.

Seems like a fitting reply then, doesn’t it? When India is considering boosting diplomatic ties with Iran and, of course, work out the Iran-Pakistan-India gas pipeline project, there comes a typical American statement that thinks it can influence our minds and make us bow down. The Left may not have it all right, but they are mostly spot on with their statements about the US and her Big Brother-like behaviour.

By the way, Happy Birthday to Sachin Tendulkar.

Say hello to league cricket

In what is set to turn cricket into a rabid, monstrous business, the Indian Premier League kicked off in Bangalore amid the hype that is certainly here to stay. It’s cricket, cricket and more cricket than ever. The obsession just got worse. Fast-paced matches, inter-city rivalries, cheerleaders who make as much of an impression as the players and most importantly – a format of the game that seems to be played on steroids and takes passion in the Gentleman’s game to a whole new level.

Never before has India witnessed such an extravaganza in sport (although inter-city rivalries do exist in football’s I-League). Never before has an Indian crowd expressed an unnatural silence when Rahul Dravid hits a four, and followed it up with ecstasy at his dismissal. Never before have the corporates and film stars been so heavily involved with sport. This is a new era.

But this is league sport just the way it should be. It has existed for years in other countries and people thrive on their local clubs and cities coming up and delivering trophies and garnering acclaim and applause. It is new here. But you could clearly see that the Eden Gardens welcomed Brendon McCullum like a home-grown hero and went berserk at the dismissal of VVS Laxman, the architect of India’s famous win over Australia in the same ground seven years ago.

This will eventually benefit India, despite the opinions of cynics and critics of the league. Imagine the amount of experience the youngsters will gain in this tournament. They will get used to playing with the best, playing in front of huge crowds, playing with passion and working towards becoming national heroes. All that remains is for us to welcome them with open arms.

Let’s say cricket just got sexier.

Vadodara catastrophe – An unfeeling from hell

When 41 children die in a road mishap, then we can probably compare such a tragedy to any national calamity that has been a part of the past and our instant reaction would have to be OH-MY-GOD, even if you are an atheist. This particular tragedy took place today in the city of Vadodara in Gujarat when a bus carrying 44 people (41 among them children, most studying in standards 8th and 9th) fell into the 60-foot deep Narmada canal with reports stating that the driver lost control of the bus.

The state government has announced a one lakh rupees compensation package for each of the victims, but there is truly no recovering from such damage. Sometimes life throws up situations that are beyond human control. And when our weaknesses (read children) are the ones affected, then every other thing seems very, very ordinary.

Reality’s harshness was belligerently exposed in this mishap, but the root cause of such life-altering events is us, we the inexplicably ignorant people. I won’t say that this particular disaster was a result of reckless driving until proven so, but India’s roads are as far from being safe as an Indo-Pak resolution on the Kashmir issue. Add to that, our attitude, craze for road rage and need for the thrill of speed play key roles. There should be space for them, but buses in public places don’t exactly justify the heed we pay to our needs.

The following is an extract from a Reuter’s report, where if I imagine the victim’s kin as myself, then the feeling is bloodcurdling. Even just the feeling.

“My daughter was going for her last examination today,” Bhikiben, one of the bereaved mothers, told Reuters Television.

“She was very happy that her holidays were to begin, but now everything has ended for her,” she said.

May peace be upon them.

[Image courtesy: Instigator Blog]